The most difficult thing in the world is letting go of the people you truly love–the ones you love deep down so much, so hard–that it tears you up inside when the relationship is fraught with nothing but negativity and hurt. And no matter how much you try to change to make things better, it continues to be counterproductive. It doesn’t mean any one person is more at fault than the other…some relationships just aren’t mean to be.
Sometimes the people you love don’t love you the way you need, or even know how you need to be loved. Sometimes, unfortunately, family or friend relationships are nothing but hurt-filled and poisonous. As difficult as it may be, the best decision you can come to is to let them know how much you love them, that you’re sorry for your contribution to the breaking down of the relationship, and that you feel it would be best to part ways–with no ill feelings. I wish it were that easy, to say goodbye with no ill feelings. I used to believe–and I told everyone this, I bragged about it to everyone I possibly could–that my family was everything in the whole world, my family was better than anyone else’s family could even dream of being. My family was up on such a special, special pedestal and no one could say anything in the whole world to make me believe anything other than that my giant pedestal was exactly where they belonged. My Mom and Dad, and my younger brother and me–we were THE perfect family. If ever there was a family that was gorgeous, sweet, close and fun it was the four of us… the four of us with our big blue eyes, my Dad–tall, thin, and handsome…my Mom–short, athletic, tan, and gorgeous like Jessica Rabbit, with beautiful dark brown hair with big curls falling at her shoulders and those eyes of hers…those eyes were the most pretty and alluring eyes you’ve ever seen; and my brother and me, he with his “toe head” and blue eyes and ultra tan skin…and me, long blonde hair and cute little pierced ears and the cutest little girl outfits and shoes you’ve ever seen. I wish I had a photo to post because I was always so proud of the “four of us”–until my brother and I got married it was “the four of us”. We were such a fabulous family. Goodness I miss that. I didn’t think anything could break the bond we shared.
I have made the decision to remember all of the good times, the beautiful memories we all shared. That is what’s most important. Those were the times I felt mattered in my relationship with my family. I needed my Mommy and Daddy at that time more than ever and they were always there, always always. There was nothing my parents wouldn’t do for us. They were the picture-perfect parents and I am so lucky to be able to say that I had a great childhood. People do change with time, with age, with circumstances… And people do, as sad and awful as it may be, become stuck in their stubborn, judgmental, negative thinking and no matter what anyone says or does to prove that thinking to be flawed, he or she decides to believe as they wish, and ignore everything that goes against those beliefs. Because so much happens to people in their lives they are influenced by circumstances, and people have two choices in life–two choices that really matter: you can choose not to allow circumstances to change you in a negative way and be positive and optimistic in every situation; or, you can choose to allow circumstances to negatively influence you and cause you to become pessimistic and negative about life. Sometimes the people who choose to be negative become resentful of things that happened in the past which may have hurt them in some way, and they can’t get past it. Even if they want to and try. It’s such a sad thing to happen; circumstances can’t be changed, but how we react to them can. But not everyone is able to control how they react to circumstances. It takes great effort to be able to see the good in things, to see the positive in situations. The most amazing thing is being able to find the purpose in all things in life, even if its something horrible. Everything does happen for a reason, and the reason can sometimes be so simple that it’s easy to overlook. It would be ideal if all people could, at all times, focus on remaining positive so that everything in life that seems to be bad is really something deeper, something wonderful. For example, my best friend and I would never have gotten the chance to become friends if she hadn’t been pulled over and had circumstances occur which caused her vehicle to be impounded, which caused her to call me, a former acquaintance, and ever since the most amazing, positive, fun, deep friendship has developed and what seemed awful turned out to be for the best, even in her eyes. There is always something good that comes from every bad circumstance. It’s a matter of having an open heart and an open mind to be able to see it.
Saying goodbye is a very difficult thing, but sometimes it brings about real self-acceptance and the ability to forget the negative things which have hurt the relationship and to enjoy and preserve the great memories that are in your heart, and always will be. It’s impossible to accept yourself when there is someone always pointing out to you the mistakes you’ve made. It’s not only hurtful, it’s destructive. I so bad want to say that it’s an easy thing to do but it’s not. Although if you allow time to be on your side, you will come to accept that it’s time to let go and move on. Forget the past negatives and remember the good times…in your heart. Just don’t lose yourself or what’s important to you in the process.