If I was given the opportunity to make three wishes–ANY THREE WISHES I WANT, I would be the happiest person in the world….I have thought about this many, many times and I can tell you with 100% certainty that my answer to that question would be exactly the same as it was 5 years ago when I said it, and then 3 years ago when I said it again, and even still as when I said it a year ago. And that’s because my wish is for something that money can’t buy and that no amount of wishful thinking can fix, and it breaks my heart having to say that but it’s the absolute truth. But, just for fun, if I had three wishes…
My first wish would be to go back in time to 2007 when my husband asked me to manage our restaurant we were preparing to open. Whereas I said yes before, I would most definitely say no now. I was set to start a job within a matter of weeks working for the California Department of Corrections as a Correctional Officer and I would have had the first 12 weeks of training at a training camp in Galt, California. If I had not chosen to let my husband bully me in to taking the job as General Manager of Buffalo Wings & Rings–the restaurant franchise we opened in 2008 along with my brother and his wife, Lori, and my Mom and Dad–I don’t think my family would have experienced all of the heartache and heartbreak and constant fighting that it did as a result of opening a family restaurant together and also of working together as a family. My brother was my Assistant Manager, but my Mom was supposed to be. Family should never go in to business together and they most certainly should never allow business to come between them. My brother and I had a lot of good times, don’t get me wrong–while we were doing well it was great, fantastic really. But when it was doing bad, well, my family couldn’t handle it. It was all about placing blame. I never imagined it would turn into a nightmare.
My second wish would be for the relationship between my stepdaughters and me to be mended so that we always got along and loved each other and accepted each other. There was a great deal of negative feelings like anger, jealousy, resentment, and judgment being made between us on each other. I fully expected the feelings to be there but not to continue for so many years. Nothing I did was ever right. We would have accepted one another just as we are from day one and the good, solid relationship we shared for the first ten years of our family being together would have continued and not turned in to the mess of a complete disaster that it now is.
My third and final wish would be to take my Grandson’s brain tumor away. He has had it since Easter of 2010 and it’s been a journey ever since. If I had a choice of when to take it away–I would take it away now, not before it ever formed, because I know that his Mama would say that it has made them a stronger family, and it has taught them so much. They would be happy to have it taken away 100% now.
My goodness just thinking about how different my life as well as my entire family’s lives would be in the event of these three wishes makes me feel a strangeness and awkwardness in my own skin I haven’t felt in a long time because its been so damn long since anything in my family has gone the way it should. My family has been torn apart–ravaged by the circumstances we have been given, and I would do absolutely anything in this world to make the three wishes happen for us. I would give my life to make that happen.