I have a fascinating story to tell. It’s the painful, heart-wrenching account of a very young, innocent little girl who endured sexual abuse and severe neglect at the hands of not only some awful, horrible pedophiles who were supposedly friends of her own mother, but incredibly, by her mother herself–a mother who sold her to various drug dealers beginning at the tender age of four years old, allowing the disgusting, horrible men to do “anything they wished” with her in exchange for a line–yes, ONE LINE–of methamphetamine.
The story I’m about to tell is 100% true, accurate and factual; and as much as it destroys my heart and soul for anyone at all to bear the burden of having to hear her painfully sad story of her childhood, I must tell you why this story is so incredible, and touching beyond belief to me: the young lady whose deeply disturbing, unbelievable story you’re about to read is the love of my life–my soul mate, my best friend, my lover, and the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, has defied all of the statistics and research by not once allowing her past to rule her or for what happened to her as a child and adolescent–truth be told, it continued up past her eighteenth birthday–to define her, to change the person she is meant to be, or to affect the way she thinks of others or treats others, even the male population. I’m going to call her Patti* in this post. Everything you’re about to read is truer than you can imagine, and is amazing on so many levels.
Statistics show that children and adolescents entering adulthood after years of abuse, particularly sexual abuse and neglect, are much more likely to experiment with alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, and sex earlier than those entering adulthood without abuse of any type. Furthermore, the rate of teenage girls becoming pregnant while still a minor increases quite significantly when the girl has been a victim of sexual abuse, regardless of the age of the victim at the time the abuse occurred.
Imagine a four year-old little girl spending her nights being molested by her brother and later by men five or more times her age and twenty times her size; raped, for instance, with a hot curling iron, as she recalls with more bravery and courage than I have ever seen anyone recall such horrific events with. On another occasion, she tells me while avoiding eye contact and staring at the ground, a tear running down her face on either side of her eye–telling about how three or four, as she remembers, different men (boyfriends of her mother’s, who I will share more details on later, for her story is almost as heart-wrenching and beautiful) burning her on her butt and thighs with cigarettes, cigars, and lighters when she was such an innocent young child, and why? The sickest part is that they got off on torturing a young child. Every time she shares more details of this time in her life, I am nearly brought to tears; kept only from crying and sobbing my heart and soul out because of one fact and one fact alone: this woman has endured abuse beyond belief, yet she sees people with such an amazing, unbelievable positivity. What’s more, when I point out to her how amazing her attitude is, she simply shrugs her shoulders and smiles innocently and shocked, saying nothing more than “why should I treat anyone in this world any differently than I would had none of the abuse occurred during my childhood?”
It’s ironic; honestly, she’s right, really. You just don’t expect women who have experienced such negativity, such pain, such adversity…to be such beautiful and kind, good-hearted people like my girlfriend is. I am proud, a little prouder each and every day, really…to have this amazing woman by my side.
So many young women can and should look to this woman as a positive role model, as she can really teach something useful and unique about having a positive outlook in life no matter what difficult circumstances are faced or what adversity they may struggle with in their life; she is a perfect example of someone who would never use that adversity as any type of excuse for acting out or being anything but determined to continually better her attitude as well as better herself in general.