What Makes a Person BiSeXuAL?

This is an ongoing debate between my ex and me. His stance is very cut and dry, black or white~just like his thinking on everything: that there’s no way a woman can be married for sixteen years as he and I have been, then decide she wants to be with women. I, on the other hand, have always considered myself to be bisexual; as early as age ten I kissed girls and I have always been more attracted to women then men. I have had many, many experiences with women and have found them to be the most enjoyable, memorable and, well…unforgettable. After a sixteen marriage, ten years which were pretty fantastic but the remaining six which were, to say the least, strained and at times, even unbearable; so I decided that my next relationship had to be with a woman. The reason? Number one, because in sixteen years I never truly felt my husband made any real attempt to try to understand me, to understand why I did some of the things I did, or even why I was feeling depressed so much of the time toward the end. I was terrified of his temper and I was always so eager to please him yet he failed to see that pleasing him was so high up on my list of priorities. I came to the realization that I belonged with someone who thinks like me…who better to think like me as well as to understand me, than another woman?


Which brings me to our staunch debate: what makes a person bisexual? He believes I’m going through a mid-life crisis and that I just need to get it out of my system, then I’ll go back to men. But see I’m a very loyal, dedicated person and I believe that women are much more loyal than are men. Plus, I find the female body to be a thousand times more sexy and desirable than the male body.

We’ve discussed this issue on many occasions and he believes that what makes a person bisexual is having sexual intercourse and/or sexual relations on a regular, constant basis with both men and women. I, on the other hand, feel strongly and passionately that what bisexuality is, without a doubt, is a person’s preference for both men and women: even if the person has never actually engaged in sexual intercourse at any time in his or her life. For example, a teenage boy knows he’s homosexual from the age of ten, but has never come out of the closet to anyone nor has he ever actually engaged in sexual intercourse with a male. But he knows that’s what he wants, right?

To make it even more complicated, the ex thinks that once you’re bisexual that you’re always bisexual. For instance, a middle-aged man prefers both men and women and is sexually gravitated toward both, but after a decade of sleeping with both women and men, he decides he wants to be with just men and no longer women. How can that be realistic? People change; people’s preferences change; this the New Millennium for goodness sake!

So now I ask you, my readers. What makes a person bisexual? Is it solely about a person’s sexual preference or is it more than that? Your thoughts are crucial here, please..don’t hold back, let it loose and share any and all thoughts with LuLuBeLLe! I’m an open book and I’m a fantastic listener ๐Ÿ˜‰



  1. You pretty much covered it and I gotta say that people who aren’t bisexual – unless they are very well read – tickle the daylights out of me with their thoughts on what makes us bi and, no, it’s not always about the sex, has nothing to do with how often you have any sex, or a few other misconceptions. It is about the person and whatever it is that attracts you to them (or them to you) and whether or not that person – and not particularly their gender – can fulfill your needs (whatever those might be).


    1. You hit the nail on the head with that one kdaddy (lovin your name!). People definitely dont know. My kids know all about my being bisexual–i have a girlfriend I’m very much in love with and they love her, they call her Mama JT…I love it. But it is so much more than the sex..she completes me like no one, including their father, ever has. We just fit perfectly together and they see how incredibly happy I am. Thats what matters most to them! Thanks so much for your comment k daddy ๐Ÿ™‚


    1. Suzie its so funny you say she described being bisexual that way because I kid you not, those are my exact words in describing my feelings. I fall in love with a person without regard for his or her sex. But I do prefer women.


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