Friendly Debate: Are Lesbians Virgins?

Debate question. Tell me your thoughts on this topic please, I would love to hear them.

I recently overheard a young woman in her 20s telling a friend about how she has been a lesbian all her life and has never had sex with a man. She then went on to say, “I am a virgin”…

Wait. Just wait a little minute. I bet you are no doubt making the argument in your head right this very minute that since lesbians don’t experience penetration by a man’s penis, that she must be a virgin.

So let’s travel back to 1998 for a moment and revisit the Bill Clinton-Monica Lewinsky debate on whether oral sex is considered sex, or whether it’s considered cheating on your spouse. What constitutes sex? I don’t even need to think about the obvious and only logical answer to that: any act between two parties, regardless if the sexual orientation is homosexual, heterosexual or bisexual, which includes at any point during the performance of the act one of the areas of the human body which are sexual parts…breasts, penis, vagina and/or anus, the entire act is a sexual act. Period. End of story. That woman is not only not a virgin, as she claimed; she is what some might say a little on the loose side; why you ask? She bragged about how she gets more pussy than any man.

Furthermore, ask yourself this: if you walked in and observed your child or teenager performing oral sex on another child, regardless of the other child’s sex, would you blow it off as a non-sexual act or would you flip out, treating it as sex just as much as it would be if you saw your child performing the act of penetration? I must say that, being an open-minded and modern-day mother educated in psychology and human development and putting high emphasis on instilling in my four children that they can come to me about absolutely anything at all-I don’t want to see my children performing a sexual act on another child, it does not matter in my eyes whether its penetration, going down or fondling any sexual area on another child, I would straight up flip the hell out. I’m certain most parents would without a doubt agree, and looking at it that way, how can anyone consider a lesbian as being a virgin?

There has been an enormous amount of change in this country the last fifty years; in the last few decades, however, the topic of homosexuality being openly discussed in the mainstream population has become less uncomfortable as the years pass. The reason is how open minded and increasingly tolerant society is becoming-consider the amount of people coming out as homosexual today, compared to 50 years ago. Despite these facts and their positive messages, the fact remains that we as a society must reevaluate certain changing issues as years pass, the world continues to change and people evolve and grow. 

One of those necessary reexaminations is the definition of sexual intercourse and what constitutes sex. Most people would agree that a sex act is any act involving sexual organs regardless of the manner in which they are touched.



  1. I would not get too hung up on the words, but a “virgin” is a woman who has not had penetrative sex with a man, first, then there is the meaning of a man who has not had penetrative sex. She is who she is.


    1. I know what the dictionary says about the issue; I personally and adamantly disagree that oral sex isn’t sex… that a lesbian who has “had more hmm hmm than any man…” anywhere near being considered as a virgin. Its another example of how women and lesbians are in essence being once again discriminated against with the notion that lesbian sex isn’t considered sex just because of the lack of penetration. Because a woman has no penis her vagina and the sex it provides to another vagina isn’t “good” enough to be considered as sex. I’m offended. I would be very disappointed if my last point made no impact on you.


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