Ass Slappin’ – Yay or Nay?

My horribly misguided and inappropriate new boss (with whom I share a house), and I seem to fervently, adamantly, and shamefully, being it fifteen years into the New Millennium, pathetically disagree about what normal women are. He genuinely believes (poor, poor misinformed and despicable Serbian soul) that all women enjoy having their asses slapped by men, and any men at that. Apparently I’m not a normal woman. No seriously, the fucking prick literally stated that I am not normal. Normal women, said he, like their asses slapped and rubbed. I did good not to punch his Slavic face and knee him in the groin. Mother fucker. But oh, it gets better. Just you wait.

This arrogant and terribly misguided fucknut. I hate, no I deplore this fucking job. But that’s for another post, another fucked up day, working for this sick, twisted, perverted mother fucker as a caregiver doing his twice daily physical therapy sessions, and twice a week minimum I get the joy of him pulling his dick out mid-session and asking for me to massage it as well (he’s paralyzed from the waist down and has no sexual function control – so he’s a horny mother fucker, and I only like horny mother fuckers if I:

a) sleep with him at night, and

b) am the hornier mother fucker doing the dirty and nasty with him every night.

Can I help that I’m so sexy and desirable that even my male employers are unable to keep their dick in their pants? Silly me, this has been an issue of mine all my life. Well, since age 15, the first year I went to Hot August Nights, in Reno, Nevada, wearing a poodle skirt, thinking I was a little girl but leaving the three-day event realizing I was more: I was a sexual object who still liked (shhh!) Barbie dolls. Hold the hot guys back, right? Well I tell this raunchy fuck my feelings about his unwanted advances daily, and he thinks I’m the one who is lacking a few chromosomes.

To make this guy even more hated by me, he also claims normal women like men to “rub/touch their pussies” without asking or, sick fuck says, expecting the man to ask permission in advance.  I would bet my life – no, I would bet your life, that 90% of Americans, men and women that is, would say that his highly backward perspective on this constantly evolving social issue, for which us women have truly made an astounding amount of progress, is not only inaccurate, it’s completely degrading and chauvinistic, and not keeping up with current overall attitudes regarding women’s liberation and women’s rights. Well, he is Serbian, dear friends.

I want to know your thoughts, feelings and reactions to this unbearably disturbing male-female and employer-employee debate, and the details behind it. Is my boss right? Do women generally liked being RANDOMLY slapped on the butt..pussy rubbed..without expectation of advance permission? Or is he a mother fucking pig deserving his frank and beans all chopped off and served to the family dog?

Please, leave any and all comments, preferably as upfront and honest as mine (bad words included), below, and let’s see who’s right? LuLuBeLLe (fans cheering and clapping) or Assfuck (tomatoes and garlic flavored beet juice being thrown at him, crowds making death threats) ?? Looking forward to hearing from you!